Perspective

How the Power of a Biblical Perspective can Change your Life

 

Perspective Matters

In her newly released book, author Charity Ritter discusses how the stress of life affects us all, but viewing the difficulties of life more frequently through the lens of biblical truth. Take the journey with her through how to process and view the world we live in, with all its stress and difficulties, from a biblical perspective, and focus attention on Jesus Christ.

 

Read the first chapter now!

CHAPTER 1

THE POWER OF YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Although we rarely have the power to change our circumstances, we do have the ability to change our perspective—how we think and assign meaning to our circumstances. Our perspective on a situation has power. It has the power to keep us stuck in defeat or to get us through tough times. The way we look at life can ruin blessings, or it can turn trials and suffering into opportunities. Even when our circumstances are as overwhelming as a diagnosable mental illness, I have found in counseling sessions that a simple change in perspective has the power to turn things around for my clients.

Through my experiences with my own counseling, Christian training, and mentorship, and also through my career as a therapist and business owner, I have encountered both false perspectives in myself as well as in other people. We live in a culture that tells us we can believe in whatever we want and claim it as our truth. The world wants to define us with a variable truth ruled by our fickle emotions. However, as followers of Christ, the Bible teaches us that there is an absolute truth—something that is true in every circumstance and cannot be changed.

All of us have some kind of inaccurate perspective that would benefit from being better aligned with a biblical and eternal reality. We have interpreted our experiences through the lens and meaning that the world ingrained in us rather than seeing our experiences through the lens and meaning that the Bible offers us.

We all have times when our mindset hinders us and affects our lives significantly. These untrue definitions of what we understand our thoughts and experiences to mean can attempt to hinder and sabotage the good work God is doing in our lives. Sometimes we don’t even realize it because there is so much depth in how our skewed perspective has developed over time. In these instances, the only answer seems to be “well whatever seems true to you must be fine.”

Even as Christians, we are sometimes enticed toward this way of thinking. When we try to offer comfort or Scripture to someone in pain, and it doesn’t always deliver the emotional results we hoped it would, it is easy to give up and agree that maybe things won’t change. Sometimes God shows us His truth in a moment and we change our perspective almost instantly, whereas other times the depth of our false perspectives prevent us from receiving what God has for us. It is in those instances that our thoughts, definitions and perspectives need to be unraveled and identified in order for them to be aligned with a Christlike perspective. Either way, changing your mindset is not a quick-fix. Even when it seems to be quick, we still have to hold onto that new understanding for it to truly change us.

What is Perspective?
Perspective is your understanding or definition of reality. It is your mindset on how things should be in life. It is the meaning that you have assigned to your experiences and your circumstances. It is the lens through which you experience the world according to your own logic, your past experiences, and your unique understandings. Everything that you think and feel is filtered through the lens of your perspective.

Perspective starts with the thoughts that we have about something and what we believe those thoughts mean about us, others, and the world around us. Those thoughts then develop the framework of our understanding and how we respond to things out of that understanding. Our thoughts and our perspectives are connected. The two work together. Having a positive and true perspective and thought process can make the difference between success and failure. A biblical perspective can allow you to respond to a situation with patience, maturity, and peace rather than responding purely out of emotions that likely stem from an unhealthy meaning you previously assigned to that situation.

Recently my husband and I started a new hobby. We have been bouldering, which is a short version of wall climbing. In bouldering, the climber does not use ropes and does not climb extremely high. However, in bouldering, the problems that the climber faces are complex. As the climber moves to the top of the wall, he or she must travel up, over, sideways, and even upside down. Though it is a bit dangerous, and though I did suffer one fall that sent me to a chiropractor, bouldering is a great workout, a great way to challenge your problem-solving skills, and a wonderful practice in positive self-talk.

In the short time I have been bouldering, I have seen the difference my perspective makes in achieving a successful climb. If I am halfway up the wall and the problem is increasingly challenging, my arms will start to tire, making the next hand grip seem just out of reach. This is when my self-talk can make all the difference. If I can tell myself, “You are strong,” “You’ve got this,” “You are athletic” and “You might be able to make it.” I can usually hold on just a little longer allowing me to reach a grip that I otherwise perceived out of reach. But if I say to myself, “Shoot, I am getting tired,” “I don’t know if I can do this,” or “It’s too far,” I almost certainly will either fall off the wall or be forced to climb down. When my thoughts are positive, I can push myself harder and make it to the finish more often. The power of perspective in bouldering makes the difference between success and failure, and the same is true for life.

What if your perspective isn’t where it should be?

What if your perceived reality is inaccurate?

Our culture tell us that truth is all relative anyway, and that what is true for me might not be true for you. But if you are a follower of Jesus Christ, then the Bible tells us something totally different.

According to Scripture, there is an absolute truth and a right way to think. Your perspective will have a significant impact on your thoughts, feelings, stress levels, and relationships. We also put the intentions and motives of others through the same lens of perceived reality. If you are a follower of Christ, the Bible is clear about our perspective; it is to be Christ-centered.

An entire secular theoretical model of psychotherapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or CBT, is based on this same reality about our perspectives. CBT uses terms such as schemas and core beliefs, but these are the same concepts as perspectives. I, however, will approach this concept from a more biblical perspective, so we will not focus on CBT terms.

My early career in clinical counseling was limited to a traditional focus. Since working in private practice, I have had some clients with whom I was able, at their request, to use a biblical perspective alongside a clinical perspective. When a Christlike perspective is used in the counseling session, the level of healing and freedom the client experiences far outweighs those whose treatment is only taken from a clinical scope. Without a biblical perspective, where does one draw purpose, direction, or meaning for their life? Many people who experience mental illness would say that the largest symptoms of their illness stem from a lack of joy. Real joy comes from understanding our purpose. There is power in your perspective.

Intrusive Thoughts
An interesting example about the power of perspective comes from a counseling concept known as intrusive thoughts. Intrusive thoughts are one of the main symptoms of diagnosable anxiety disorders. Intrusive thoughts are quick and passing negative thoughts that cause one to be distressed or disturbed, and they can include angry thoughts, inappropriate or sexual thoughts, doubting relationships, negative self-talk, or many other things. Oftentimes people who are overly analytical or prone to anxiety assign meaning to those thoughts, and they allow those meanings to define who they believe themselves to be.

In other words, many of us have negative or unusual passing thoughts, but the danger is when we take that passing thought, dwell on it, assign meaning to it, and translate it into something we believe about who we are. When we do this, a passing thought turns into a lingering thought, and a lingering thought starts to cause us to question our identity and perspective on life.

Those who are susceptible to this danger are often disproportionately focused on those angry, inappropriate, or distressing thoughts. In treatment of these intrusive thoughts, one of the biggest remedies is to help the client understand that these thoughts are meaningless and should not define them. Secular psychology explains that intrusive thoughts are random brain firings, and they are not a window into an individual’s internal self or subconsciousness. In fact, intrusive thoughts often reveal something that is out of alignment with a person’s internal self, which contributes to the stress and anxiety one experiences when those uninvited thoughts emerge.

Both Christian psychologists and secular counseling models would agree that these thoughts come into the mind without placing any “fault” on the person for having the thoughts. They also agree that these thoughts will trigger emotions within us if we do not either quickly dismiss them or if we analyze them against a more positive truth. In Christian counseling, that truth is the Truth of Scripture.

So, the same culture that tells us we should do what feels right simultaneously acknowledges that our thoughts do not always mean what we think they do. Someone might have thoughts of hurting another person out of anger when in fact the one who is suffering the intrusive thoughts is actually a very kind and loving individual who would never want to harm another person.

One psychology model explains that these anxious thoughts are happening because the character of a kind and loving person finds thoughts of hurting someone to be so immensely distressing. The likelihood of that person acting on such thoughts is rather low. (Be advised, if someone you know is having thoughts of hurting themselves or others, they need to be assessed by a professional therapist or psychologist. If these thoughts are not simply passing intrusive anxious thoughts, the person could act on them. This situation does need to be taken seriously for their safety.)

There are some thoughts that are just meaningless and are passing intrusive thoughts. However, when we allow intrusive thoughts to carry too much weight in our lives, we risk becoming confused about who we are at our core. A loving and kind person who gives power to a passing thought of hurting another person may actually begin to believe that he/she is violent. In turn, that intrusive thought is fueled and begins to grow bigger. This is how nurturing an unwanted intrusive thought can lead to damaging one’s perception of self. Secular psychology makes it clear, intrusive thoughts are meaningless and should be ignored. They are not worthy of a reaction or analysis, and most certainly they do not define a person.

When we analyze this concept further, we begin to understand the potential power of our intrusive thoughts and the danger of believing they have meaning. If the random negative thoughts you have about your marriage actually stem from intrusive thoughts, then maybe you are in a mostly happy marriage. If the doubts you have about making a big decision are intrusive thoughts then maybe you are actually making the right choice and consequently you can experience peace about the decision rather than anxiety. If the thoughts you have about your boss are intrusive thoughts, then you likely don’t hate your job like you have allowed yourself to think. If the inappropriate sexual thoughts that are causing you to spiral into a pit of confusion are actually intrusive thoughts, then you don’t need to obsessively doubt your sexuality, gender, or intimate relationships. Rather, you can rest in trusting that God made you just the way you are. He did not make a mistake.

Your perspective makes a difference. The way you think about things, especially the way you think about your passing thoughts, makes a difference.

What if you adopted the perspective that many of the passing thoughts that enter your mind might mean nothing? Would you avoid overanalyzing your feelings? Would you stop assigning negative meaning to every passing thought?

From a Christian counseling understanding, it seems clear to me that sometimes those intrusive thoughts could also actually be lies. What if those lies in our intrusive thoughts are part of Satan’s strategy to trip us up?

Assuming that is true, then those intrusive lies have absolutely no validity in defining who we are because they may not even be coming from within us, but rather from outside of us. They could actually be part of the war that Satan has waged on our souls. It may be Satan trying to tempt us into something that our heart doesn’t even want. It could be that the temptation is to obsess over the thoughts, or it could be to follow through on what the thoughts are about. Satan comes to steal and destroy (John 10:10). Intrusive thoughts that bring about shame, uncertainty, condemnation, and anxiety to a follower of Christ are not from God. The Bible warns about temptation. When we hold onto those intrusive thoughts and when we allow them to define us, we sabotage much of the peace, joy, and hope that God has promised for our lives.

Power of Perspective in Defining Who We Are
The average person can tell you their name, where they live, and the title of their job. Those are the objective variables about our identity. We often think those things answer the question, “Who are you?” However, when it comes to understanding a person’s inner-self, personality-quirks, desires, motivations, purpose, and heart, answering the question, Who are you?, is not so easy.

The subjective variables of our identity are largely social constructs. The way in which we define ourselves has to do with the relationships we have, what we see other people doing, and what appears to be acceptable in our culture. For many of us, we misunderstand who we are because we are defining ourselves based on the wrong variables, human ideals, and secular culture, instead of biblical truth. For many years I struggled with defining myself using the wrong variables.

Until recently, I believed that there was something wrong with my personality. I was always much different from others. I was more serious, goal-focused, and blunt than most people. While I cared about people very much, and while I tried to do what I could to make others happy in a task-oriented way, I am not a people-pleaser in a relational sense. When I try to be more relational, I am unsuccessful. I present myself with confidence even when I do not feel confident, and I have always been an independent person. I wear my emotions right on my face, and if I am stressed most people can see it. I am extraverted when working on some things, especially if I am passionate about them, but I am introverted in social interactions. This sometimes translates to others that I am unfriendly, uncaring, and unapproachable. I have always wished people could see past how they interpreted my actions, and into my heart. Once people get to know me, they better understand my heart. However, growing up with this personality left me with a feeling that I should just stay away from people because they will never understand me. Many times I even believed that there was something defective with how God made me because I believed the negative feedback that I received from others about how they defined who I was.

As a child, others viewed me as bossy, mean, and a know-it-all. For many years this was how I defined myself. As a teenager, my peers often saw me as a threat, assuming that I thought I was better than others. Some labeled me as not fun, and for a few years this was how I defined myself. As an adult, I am still sometimes seen by some as uncaring and too serious. Sometimes I am tempted to define myself this way because if others see me that way, then it seems to be true. Even though I know that those things are not true about me, when many different people have defined me the same way for years and years, it is easy to think that I am a terrible person who is unable to relate to others.

Throughout my life, there were times that I would cry out to God asking why He made me this way. The rejection I felt from people for whom I cared deeply made me want to hide from everyone. Some years I hated myself, some years I was annoyed with everyone else. And some years I was frustrated at who God made me to be. When I was young, I wished I was someone else. Even though I am not a people-pleaser, I still defined who I was based on how other people saw me, and it made me miserable. Every time that I made someone feel like I did not care about them, my heart broke and I wished I could relate more easily to others.

I carried this perspective about myself at a core level, and it hurt every time another person experienced me as unfriendly or uncaring. I never understood why no one saw me for me, and why no one could see my heart. I care deeply for others, holding a deep value for people, and I never understood how others didn’t see that in me. It made me feel invisible.

Although many may not realize this about me, and even though I am not a people pleaser, I am willing and often try to sacrifice my own needs, desires and preferences to meet the needs of others. I put so much effort toward being nice, smiling, and inquiring of others, that I am often left exhausted. It requires that I push myself out of my comfort zone to make sure people know that I care about them. I do this because I do love and care for people. I want others to feel supported by me, but the ways in which my love and care are best communicated to others does not come naturally to me.

Even though I hoped I would grow out of the miscommunication people perceive about my heart, the same misunderstandings have continued to arise into my adulthood. Over time I have learned that when the stress of life increases above what is normal, I lack the energy to push myself out of my comfort zone. I then default to my natural personality style, the same one that causes people to have a negative experience when they interact with me.

As I spent time with Jesus, it became clear to me that I had been defining myself with the wrong variables. I had either lost my focus on God, or I never really embraced how God defined me. Now that I have this insight and awareness, I am more intentional when I interact with others, paying attention to my actions and behaviors when I am under stress. Through a Christlike perspective, God has helped me to see that sometimes others are looking to me for personal validation. If others perceive me as uncaring, it very well might be because they are not receiving what they hoped as a result of their own insecurities. Becoming aware of this has helped me to develop a tool that I can use during those stressful and exhausting seasons.

I have found that it is easy enough to simply apologize for making others feel a certain way. In those times, I hold onto compassion for their struggle rather than exerting tremendous personal effort to ensure that I am being well received, which often results in my heart growing bitter. It’s easier to say “I’m sorry” and try to smile at people than it is to try and explain my unique personality style to everyone. Although I do still try to initiate small talk and be more encouraging, I have stopped defining myself based on how people do or do not understand me.

My husband helped me see this new perspective. He thought back to when we first met and analyzed how I made him feel. He helped me to see that this misunderstanding was not about me, rather it was about how my confidence and independence can make others feel negatively about themselves. If others think I feel negatively about them due to lack of pleasantries, then that feels like evidence for them to define themselves negatively too. Perhaps the way people were experiencing me or perceiving me had more to do with them than it had to do with me. However, because relational niceties are a bit more challenging for me, I do try to improve this so that others know their value when they interact with me.

Redefining myself and better understanding what was happening in these situations allowed me to change my perspective about myself. No longer do I need to question God about why He made me the way that He did. I am proud to be independent, confident, and different from others. Now that I am able to define myself as God defines me, I can practice offering encouragement to others rather than hiding and writing-off people all together. In relating to others, I can rely on the tools I am learning rather than assume that something is wrong with me. It also has helped me to look back and reframe my entire life, allowing me to experience healing from past broken relationships and rejection. That is the power of a biblical perspective in defining ourselves.

Without Proper Perspective
A proper perspective is something that has to be learned; it does not come naturally. Our perspectives begin taking shape as early as our first memories. I remember an interaction with my oldest son when he was young that helped me to better understand how God invites us to use His Word to change our perspectives. My son was learning a lesson that is difficult for each of us at some time or another. He was learning how to be patient and grateful. While playing with his toys, he felt the urge to use the bathroom. Instead of simply going into the bathroom, using the toilet, and returning to play, he made a detour into the kitchen where I was standing. He was visibly upset, and he started yelling, “Why do I always have to go to the bathroom?”

I tried to engage him, explaining that what he was experiencing was completely natural. I explained that we all have to use the bathroom multiple times a day, and he could go right back to playing when he was finished. My son continued to yell, “It’s not fair,” “Why is everybody doing this to me,” “I never get time to play,” and “Why are you being so mean to me.” I sat down with him for a minute to engage him in a conversation about his heart, explaining that he is complaining about something that cannot be fixed. I also wanted to make sure he understood that I was not being mean. Now, if this story makes you feel like you are not a very patient parent, please don’t focus on that. Remember, I said this was my first kid. I had more time and emotional energy to offer this level of patience with my first kid. Now with three kids, these types of conversations are fewer and farther between, and I often have to call-in my husband, Mike, to have those conversations. Give yourself grace.

As I watched this little boy throw a fit about something that seemed so small to me, I didn’t understand why my logic wasn’t helping. I remember thinking, Is this really happening? Is my son really so upset about this? It reminded me of how much I complain about things that are so small in the big picture of God’s kingdom, His power, and His providence. Often I complain about not getting enough sleep, how messy my house is, or how seemingly hard finances are to balance, even though God has always provided.

God is not looking at me thinking, Is this really happening? Rather He is likely thinking something more like, child, remember my Word. In His Word He gave us truth, and sometimes that truth is hard for our human minds to comprehend. I wanted my son to receive my logic and use it to change his emotions. God asks us to turn to His Word in an effort to calm our emotions. Have you ever thought about your emotions that way? Sometimes we behave like small children, stuck on something because of our way of thinking. Yet we have a loving Father who wants us to allow His logic to calm our emotions and change our perspectives. Without the proper perspective, my three-year-old son complained and threw a fit. His little heart felt angry, sad, and stressed. As adults, we are no different. That is the power of perspective.

Biblical Perspectives
The Bible tells us,

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

(1 Peter 5:8)

While sobriety can apply here, this verse communicates far more than what we think of when we think of sobriety from drugs or alcohol. We must have a clear mind. This means we have to pay attention to our thinking, our emotions, and our attitudes in order to have a clear perspective of our situation. Satan wants to confuse us, discourage us, and keep us spinning in circles in negative thinking instead of growing in our relationship with Christ and working toward our God-given purpose.

When we allow our thinking and our perspectives to be misaligned from biblical truth, we get into trouble with how we define our behaviors, who we are, and who others are. A faulty perspective can skew the value we place on our ourselves and our relationships and can taint how we view our purpose in life. If we define those things by an unbiblical view, it can cause significant destruction in our lives. We will miss out on so many blessings that God wants to give us simply because we have allowed the lens through which we see the world to be distorted by unbiblical views. We have to protect our perspectives and not allow the world, our sinful nature, or Satan to fog our thinking and skew our perspectives.

Our Perspectives Can Be Redeemed
When God created humanity, man and woman had a proper understanding and perspective of God. They understood God to be the Creator, Master, and Ruler. But when Adam and Eve allowed Satan to tempt them, and they decided to disobey God and eat the forbidden fruit, it changed their perspective of God. As a result, they also lost their intimate fellowship with Him and each other. Many centuries later, God sent His son Jesus Christ to live a sinless life, and through His death and resurrection, Jesus redeems us from our sinful state whe we believe in Him. Jesus paid our debt of sin, reestablishing our ability to have an intimate relationship with Him.

Friend, I want to encourage you that because of Jesus’ sacrifice, you are able to enjoy life-changing intimacy with Christ. Once you commit your life to follow Christ, you should study the Bible so you can continually improve your perspectives of God, yourself, and the world. In doing so, you position yourself to follow Jesus’ commands and you submit your thinking and perspective to His truth. Your perspective can be redeemed and sanctified. It takes time as a believer, but in following Christ, the Holy Spirit will convict you and guide you into a Christlike perspective. The joy and freedom that comes with a redeemed perspective is indescribable.

© 2020 by Charity Ritter
CharityRitter.com

Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™